Cele mai amuzante bancuri cu Ion:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
1. Ion st\u0103tea pe prispa casei \u015fi fuma. Trece Gheorghe pe strad\u0103 \u015fi \u00eel strig\u0103<\/strong>:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Ioaneeee, hai s\u0103 bem un rachiu la cr\u00e2\u015fm\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Ion r\u0103spunde:<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Nu vin. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Gheorghe continu\u0103: <\/p>\n\n\n\n – Hai, m\u0103i Ioane, sau \u0163ie fric\u0103 de nevast\u0103? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Ion r\u0103spunde: <\/p>\n\n\n\n -Auzi, m\u0103 Ghio, nici la lup nu-i este fric\u0103 de c\u00e2ine, dar nu-i place cum latr\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Ni\u015fte reporteri TV merg \u00eentr-un sat s\u0103 fac\u0103 un reportaj despre cum \u00ee\u015fi petrece ziua baciul Ion.<\/strong> \u00cel roag\u0103 s\u0103 povesteasc\u0103 ce face \u00een cursul zilei.<\/p>\n\n\n\n – P\u0103i, diminea\u0163a m\u0103 scol \u015fi trag un pahar de palinc\u0103…<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Stai, baciule. Nu e bine s\u0103 afle toat\u0103 \u0163ar\u0103 ca bei la prima or\u0103. Spune c\u0103 cite\u015fti o carte….<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Na, atunci… diminea\u0163a m\u0103 scol, citesc ziarul. Dup\u0103 aia dau la porc s\u0103 m\u00e2nce, dupa care mai citesc \u00eenc-un ziar. P\u00e2n\u0103 la pr\u00e2nz lucrez \u00een atelier, timp \u00een care citesc vreo dou\u0103-trei c\u0103r\u0163i. La mas\u0103 mai citesc vreo dou\u0103 reviste. Seara termin treaba, dup\u0103 care urmeaz\u0103 presa de sear\u0103. Dup\u0103 cin\u0103 m\u0103 duc la biblioteca satului cu prietenii, iar la 22.00, c\u00e2nd \u00eenchide biblioteca, merem cu toat\u0103 trupa la Costel, c\u0103 el are tipografie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. Ion \u015fi Maria mergeau pe strad\u0103 \u00een Bucure\u015fti.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Nu mai v\u0103zuser\u0103 niciodat\u0103 un felinar, a\u015fa c\u0103 Maria exclama: <\/p>\n\n\n\n – Uite, Ioane, luna-n b\u0103\u0163. <\/p>\n\n\n\n La care Ion: <\/p>\n\n\n\n -Taci tu, c\u0103 te faci de r\u00e2s. E butelia-n salc\u00e2m.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. Ion merge la pia\u0163\u0103 s\u0103 v\u00e2nd\u0103 un coco\u015f. Vine un b\u0103tr\u00e2nel care p\u0103rea interesat \u015fi \u00eentreab\u0103:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n – E bun coco\u015ful, taic\u0103? Se pricepe la c\u0103lcat g\u0103ini?<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Buuun tataie! Calc\u0103 tot ce prinde; calc\u0103 g\u0103ini, ra\u0163e, g\u00e2\u015fte, oi, porci, vaci, a prins odat\u0103 un vultur \u015fi nu l-a iertat…<\/p>\n\n\n\n – P\u0103i \u015fi-atunci de ce-l vinzi, omule?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Hmm… de la o vreme se uit\u0103 ciudat la mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. Vin \u015fuvoaiele peste sat. Ion se urc\u0103 pe acoperi\u015ful casei \u015fi a\u015fteapt\u0103.<\/strong>\u00a0Ni\u015fte oameni trec pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 casa lui \u00eentr-o barc\u0103 de salvare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Ioane, sari in barca, c\u0103 ai s\u0103 te \u00eeneci!<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Nu, r\u0103m\u00e2n aici! Dumnezeu e mare \u015fi puternic \u015fi m\u0103 va salva!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Mai sta ce mai sta \u015fi mai trece o barc\u0103 pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 el.<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Hai, Ioane, sari \u00een barc\u0103 \u015fi salveaz\u0103-te!<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Nu, nu! Dumnezeu e mare \u015fi m\u0103 va salva!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pleac\u0103 \u015fi a doua barc\u0103. La cea de-a treia barc\u0103, povestea se repet\u0103. Apoi, Ion moare \u00eenecat. Ajuns la por\u0163ile Raiului, bate cu putere \u015fi cere s\u0103 fie l\u0103sat s\u0103 vorbeasc\u0103 cu Dumnezeu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n – P\u0103i bine, Doamne! Eu m\u0103 rog at\u00e2ta la tine… \u00ee\u0163i dau toat\u0103 \u00eencrederea mea \u015fi tu m\u0103 la\u015fi s\u0103 mor!?<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Cum te cheam\u0103? \u00eentreab\u0103 Dumnezeu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Ion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n C\u0103uta Dumnezeu \u00een registru’:<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Mai, Ioane, nu \u015ftiu cum s\u0103-\u0163i spun… dar la mine aici figureaz\u0103 c\u0103 \u0163i-am trimis trei b\u0103rci de salvare…<\/p>\n\n\n\n 6. Ion vine de la serviciu foarte sup\u0103rat, pus r\u0103u pe ceart\u0103.<\/strong>\u00a0Maria \u00eel a\u015ftepta cu m\u00e2ncarea pus\u0103 pe mas\u0103. Atunci Ion, v\u0103z\u00e2nd c\u0103 totul e \u00een regul\u0103, ia farfuria \u015fi o arunc\u0103 pe fereastr\u0103. Maria, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 stea pe g\u00e2nduri, ia masa \u015fi scaunul \u015fi le arunc\u0103 pe geam spun\u00e2nd:\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n – Am \u00een\u0163eles, vrei s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nci \u00een gr\u0103din\u0103!<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sursa:adevarul<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Cele mai amuzante bancuri cu Ion: 1. Ion st\u0103tea pe prispa casei \u015fi fuma. Trece Gheorghe pe strad\u0103 \u015fi \u00eel<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":98227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[83],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-119739","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-rubrica-de-umor"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/emoji.webp","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p61naM-v9h","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119739","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=119739"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119739\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":119745,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/119739\/revisions\/119745"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/98227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=119739"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=119739"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=119739"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}