{"id":77586,"date":"2021-07-08T11:59:42","date_gmt":"2021-07-08T08:59:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=77586"},"modified":"2021-07-08T11:59:48","modified_gmt":"2021-07-08T08:59:48","slug":"glume-de-vara","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=77586","title":{"rendered":"Glume de var\u0103!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Luna Iulie abia a inceput. Sa o incepem zambind. Bancuri despre vara, mare, plaja si vacanta.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Adaug\u0103<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"900+<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"Glume<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1<\/strong>. Sotii Ionescu si cei doi copii pleaca in vacanta. Pe la jumatatea drumului, mama exclama:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Vai, intoarce masina ca am uitat aragazul pornit! Ia foc toata casa!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Stai mama linistita, ii raspunde baiatul. Nu ia foc nimic! Am lasat eu robinetul curgand la baie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2<\/strong>. La plaja, o blonda iese din cabina imbracata cu un costum de baie din 2 piese foarte, foarte sumar. Unul dintre gardieni o anunta :<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Pe aceasta plaja sunt permise numai costume de baie dintr-o bucata.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tipa raspunde:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-In regula. Pe care trebuie sa o dau jos?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3<\/strong>. Puricele si puricica planifica vacanta. Puricele intreaba:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Draga mea, unde vrei sa mergem anul acesta in concediu?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Pe Coasta de Azor!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4<\/strong>.Pleaca pestisorul de aur in vacanta si incredinteaza toate treburile rechinului spunandu-i:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Treaba e simpla, daca te prinde vreunul ii indeplinesti trei dorinte si gata!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dupa o saptamana se intoarce pestisorul si-l intreaba pe rechin despre cum a fost. Rechinul ii spune ca l-a prins cineva.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Si ce-ai facut? il intreba pestisorul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– I-am spus ca-i indeplinesc trei dorinte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Si ce-ai mai facut?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– L-am intrebat de prima dorinta!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Si ce-a spus?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Mi-a cerut un castel!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Si ce-ai facut?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– I-am dat un castel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-A doua dorinta?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Mi-a cerut femei.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Si ce-ai facut?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– I-am dat femei.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– A treia?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Mi-a cerut sa aiba barbatia pana-n pamant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Si ce-ai facut?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– I-am mancat picioarele\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sursa:9am; pinterest<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Luna Iulie abia a inceput. Sa o incepem zambind. Bancuri despre vara, mare, plaja si vacanta. 1. Sotii Ionescu si<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":77589,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[83],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-77586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-rubrica-de-umor"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/images.jpg?fit=318%2C159","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p61naM-kbo","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=77586"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":77590,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77586\/revisions\/77590"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/77589"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=77586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=77586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=77586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}