{"id":81885,"date":"2021-12-28T12:09:55","date_gmt":"2021-12-28T10:09:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=81885"},"modified":"2021-12-28T12:10:00","modified_gmt":"2021-12-28T10:10:00","slug":"rubrica-de-umor-5","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=81885","title":{"rendered":"Rubrica de umor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>A trecut repriza I a Sarbatorilor de iarna 2021 (Craciunul) si pentru ca trebuie sa ne pregatim de repriza a doua ( Revelion 2022). <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Iat\u0103 c\u00e2teva glume interesante:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/cata_mancare_se_mananca_de_sarbatori.jpg?w=800\" alt=\"This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is cata_mancare_se_mananca_de_sarbatori.jpg\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Doi tipi vorbesc despre un prieten comun:<br>&#8211; De Cr\u0103ciun, George a amestecat coniac frantuzesc, bere poloneza, vodca ruseasca&#8230;<br>&#8211; Si?<br>&#8211; A devenit poliglot, vorbea in limbi straine!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" data-attachment-id=\"81886\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?attachment_id=81886\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/anunt_haios_traducere_in_engleza.jpg?fit=500%2C375\" data-orig-size=\"500,375\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"anunt_haios_traducere_in_engleza\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/anunt_haios_traducere_in_engleza.jpg?fit=300%2C225\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/anunt_haios_traducere_in_engleza.jpg?fit=500%2C375\" src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/anunt_haios_traducere_in_engleza.jpg?resize=500%2C375\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-81886\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/anunt_haios_traducere_in_engleza.jpg?w=500 500w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/anunt_haios_traducere_in_engleza.jpg?resize=300%2C225 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"414\" height=\"647\" data-attachment-id=\"81888\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?attachment_id=81888\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/ce_cauta_lumea_la_farmacie.jpg?fit=414%2C647\" data-orig-size=\"414,647\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"ce_cauta_lumea_la_farmacie\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/ce_cauta_lumea_la_farmacie.jpg?fit=192%2C300\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/ce_cauta_lumea_la_farmacie.jpg?fit=414%2C647\" src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/ce_cauta_lumea_la_farmacie.jpg?resize=414%2C647\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-81888\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/ce_cauta_lumea_la_farmacie.jpg?w=414 414w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/ce_cauta_lumea_la_farmacie.jpg?resize=192%2C300 192w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 414px) 100vw, 414px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Mo\u015f Cr\u0103ciun i-a adus \u015fi lui Buli\u015for anul acesta o gr\u0103mad\u0103 de cadouri. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; M\u0103mico, cum are ochii Mo\u015f Cr\u0103ciun? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; C\u0103prui, ca ai unchiului Trul\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> &#8211; Ca ai unchiului Trul\u0103?! Aha, acum \u00een\u0163eleg de ce nu mi-a adus Mo\u015f Cr\u0103ciun pistolul cu alice de plastic pe care i l-am cerut&#8230; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; Ce leg\u0103tur\u0103 are? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; P\u0103i eu i-am spart geamul unchiului Trul\u0103. C\u00e2nd a auzit acestea, Mo\u015f Cr\u0103ciun a s\u0103rit ca ars: &#8211; \u0162i-am spus eu, cumnat\u0103, c\u0103 el e vinovatul! <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> Printre alte aperitive, la masa din prima zi de Cr\u0103ciun, erau \u015fi sardele cu m\u0103sline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> &#8211; T\u0103ticule, zise Buli\u015for, este adev\u0103rat c\u0103 balenele se hr\u0103nesc cu sardele?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p> &#8211; E adev\u0103rat&#8230; <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8211; \u015ei cum or reu\u015fi ele s\u0103 desfac\u0103 cutiile, c\u0103 mama at\u00e2ta se chinuie\u015fte!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"81889\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?attachment_id=81889\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/glume_de_craciun-mm10_16954300.jpg?fit=700%2C842\" data-orig-size=\"700,842\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"glume_de_craciun-mm10_16954300\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/glume_de_craciun-mm10_16954300.jpg?fit=249%2C300\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/glume_de_craciun-mm10_16954300.jpg?fit=700%2C842\" src=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/glume_de_craciun-mm10_16954300.jpg?resize=537%2C646\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-81889\" width=\"537\" height=\"646\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/glume_de_craciun-mm10_16954300.jpg?w=700 700w, https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/glume_de_craciun-mm10_16954300.jpg?resize=249%2C300 249w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 537px) 100vw, 537px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" data-attachment-id=\"81890\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?attachment_id=81890\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/images-5.jpg?fit=276%2C183\" data-orig-size=\"276,183\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"images-5\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/images-5.jpg?fit=276%2C183\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/images-5.jpg?fit=276%2C183\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/images-5.jpg?resize=547%2C363\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-81890\" width=\"547\" height=\"363\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Sursa:google<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A trecut repriza I a Sarbatorilor de iarna 2021 (Craciunul) si pentru ca trebuie sa ne pregatim de repriza a<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":81891,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[83],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-81885","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-rubrica-de-umor"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/glume-cu-Mos-Craciun.jpg?fit=1920%2C1459","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p61naM-liJ","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81885","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=81885"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81885\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":81892,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81885\/revisions\/81892"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/81891"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=81885"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=81885"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=81885"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}