{"id":81929,"date":"2021-12-29T12:14:04","date_gmt":"2021-12-29T10:14:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=81929"},"modified":"2021-12-29T12:14:10","modified_gmt":"2021-12-29T10:14:10","slug":"rubrica-de-umor-6","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=81929","title":{"rendered":"Rubrica de umor"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>Mai sunt c\u00e2teva ore p\u00e2n\u0103 la intrarea \u00een Noul An \u015fi fiecare a \u00eenceput deja preg\u0103tirile. Cu toate acestea, pe ultima sut\u0103 de metri, nu stric\u0103 s\u0103 \u015fti\u0163i c\u00e2teva bancuri despre Revelion<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Un cuplu stau pe canapea, baiatul cu laptopul in brate cauta loc unde sa faca revelionul.\u00a0<br>El: Uite draga mea, revelion in Tunisia, 180 de euro.<br>Ea: Da\u2026. mmm\u00a0<br>El: Uite, revelion in Grecia, 120 euro, cazare la hotel de trei stele.<br>Ea: Da\u2026 ar merge\u2026 mmm\u00a0<br>El: Vai, mai bine uite revelion la Poiana Brasov, 80 eur, super tare.\u00a0<br>Ea: Mda\u2026. \u2026 dupa o pauza de 10 secunde\u2026\u00a0<br>Ea: Eu\u2026 eu vreau la mama \u2026\u00a0<br>Dupa o alta pauza de 10 secunde.<br>El: Du-te !<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Doi canibali fac conversatie:\u00a0<br>\u2013 Anul asta imi petrec Revelionul cu vecinul meu Bongo\u2026\u00a0<br>\u2013 Unde?\u00a0<br>\u2013 In oala lui de lut\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dupa noaptea de Revelion, doua blonde din Bucuresti voiau sa se intoarca acasa. Afara era ger cumplit, taximetristii erau acasa cu familiile lor, nu tu RATB, nu tu metrou\u2026 pe scurt, niciun mijloc de transport, iar drumul era prea lung pentru a merge pe jos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>La un moment dat, fetele gasesc un depou RATB. Una dintre ele zice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Am o idee! Furam un autobuz si mergem acasa! Eu intru sa-l fur, ca am carnet, tu stai de sase.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zis si facut. Prima blonda intra in depou, a doua ramane de paza. Dupa o ora de frig si tremurat, intra si cealalta blonda, pentru a gasi-o pe prietena ei plangand intre autobuze:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Ce-ai, fata, de plangi?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Nu este niciun 135 care sa ne duca acasa!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u2013 Da\u2019 proasta mai esti! Uite aici un 226, il luam pe-asta si mergem 2 statii pe jos!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Sotul si sotia sunt la petrecerea deRevelion. Sotul se imbata si se apuca de cantat, fara sa tina cont de lipsa talentul. Singura persoana care aplauda era nevasta-sa:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2013 Asa, Ioane! Asa! Bravo! Mai canta!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2013 Ce sa mai cant, Marie? Ca nu mai stiu!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>\u2013 Canta, Ioane, canta! Ca tu, daca nu canti, bei!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"519\" height=\"351\" data-attachment-id=\"81930\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?attachment_id=81930\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/cum_arata_petrecerea_de_anul_nou_revelionul.jpg?fit=519%2C351\" data-orig-size=\"519,351\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"cum_arata_petrecerea_de_anul_nou_revelionul\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/cum_arata_petrecerea_de_anul_nou_revelionul.jpg?fit=300%2C203\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/cum_arata_petrecerea_de_anul_nou_revelionul.jpg?fit=519%2C351\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/cum_arata_petrecerea_de_anul_nou_revelionul.jpg?resize=519%2C351\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-81930\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/cum_arata_petrecerea_de_anul_nou_revelionul.jpg?w=519 519w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/cum_arata_petrecerea_de_anul_nou_revelionul.jpg?resize=300%2C203 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 519px) 100vw, 519px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"560\" height=\"400\" data-attachment-id=\"81931\" data-permalink=\"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?attachment_id=81931\" data-orig-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/560x400_1451463678b8b3aea9.jpg?fit=560%2C400\" data-orig-size=\"560,400\" data-comments-opened=\"1\" data-image-meta=\"{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}\" data-image-title=\"560x400_1451463678b8b3aea9\" data-image-description=\"\" data-medium-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/560x400_1451463678b8b3aea9.jpg?fit=300%2C214\" data-large-file=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/560x400_1451463678b8b3aea9.jpg?fit=560%2C400\" src=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/560x400_1451463678b8b3aea9.jpg?resize=560%2C400\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-81931\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/560x400_1451463678b8b3aea9.jpg?w=560 560w, https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/560x400_1451463678b8b3aea9.jpg?resize=300%2C214 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 560px) 100vw, 560px\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\/proxy\/Cqg9dg5Lhp5z4zkFqsHJ4W2fzmKOGDP6pw7DI9Rg22H5AkZA0-vUWudmM1KJBql9LmvmWSbs0l5aboLRbldFSe1gszkBI3A5SJDgKGU_\" alt=\"lubito, ce facem de Revelion? - HILARIC.ro\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/static4.libertatea.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/urari-de-anul-nou-haioase-1024x684.jpg?resize=521%2C348&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"Ur\u0103ri De Anul Nou 2021. Idei De Ur\u0103ri De Revelion Pentru Cei Dragi |  Libertatea\" width=\"521\" height=\"348\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3minute.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/90357633_202854957643156_4250835617975369728_n.jpg?resize=518%2C557&#038;ssl=1\" alt=\"glume si bancuri bune | CER SI PAMANT ROMANESC\" width=\"518\" height=\"557\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\" \/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mai sunt c\u00e2teva ore p\u00e2n\u0103 la intrarea \u00een Noul An \u015fi fiecare a \u00eenceput deja preg\u0103tirile. Cu toate acestea, pe<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":81932,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[83],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-81929","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-rubrica-de-umor"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/uratori_de_anul_nou.jpg?fit=600%2C315","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p61naM-ljr","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81929","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=81929"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81929\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":81933,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/81929\/revisions\/81933"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/81932"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=81929"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=81929"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=81929"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}