{"id":101910,"date":"2023-08-25T09:55:50","date_gmt":"2023-08-25T06:55:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=101910"},"modified":"2023-08-25T09:55:53","modified_gmt":"2023-08-25T06:55:53","slug":"haz-de-necaz-354","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=101910","title":{"rendered":"Haz de necaz"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

1. Un profesor distrat a \u00eent\u00e2rziat la seminarul pe care trebuia s\u0103-l \u0163in\u0103.<\/strong> D\u00e2ndu-\u015fi seama de \u00eent\u00e2rziere, el a s\u0103rit \u00eentr-un taxi \u015fi i-a strigat \u015foferului:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Gr\u0103be\u015fte-te, gr\u0103be\u015fte-te! Cu vitez\u0103 maxim\u0103!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u00cen timp ce taxiul rula cu o vitez\u0103 nebun\u0103 pe \u015fosea, el \u015fi-a dat seama c\u0103 nu i-a spus \u015foferului \u00een ce direc\u0163ie s\u0103 o ia. De aceea, i-a strigat acestuia:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– \u015etii \u00een ce direc\u0163ie te \u00eendrep\u0163i?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Nu domnule, dar merg cu vitez\u0103 maxim\u0103!\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Buna ziua, agent Ion Vasile! Actele la control, v\u0103 rog!<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Pofti\u0163i actele, domnule poli\u0163ist…de ce m-a\u0163i oprit?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Conducea\u0163i haotic…permisul unde e?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Permisul nu \u00eel am la mine…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Dar unde \u00eel ave\u0163i?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-I l-am imprumutat ieri unui coleg de-al dumneavoastr\u0103 pentru 3 luni…<\/p>\n\n\n\n


3. -Dumneavoastr\u0103 l-a\u0163i accidentat? <\/strong>\u00eel \u00eentreab\u0103 agentul de circula\u0163ie pe automobilistul care, ie\u015fit din ma\u015fin\u0103, prive\u015fte buimac la omul \u00eentins pe trecerea de pietoni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Nu l-am accidentat, fereasc\u0103 sf\u00e2ntul, nici nu l-am atins! Voia s\u0103 treac\u0103, i-am cedat trecerea \u015fi el, de uimire, a le\u015finat!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Un \u015fofer de tir opre\u015fte la un popas, comand\u0103 un sandvi\u015f, o cafea \u015fi o pl\u0103cint\u0103. <\/strong>Intr\u0103 trei motocicli\u015fti r\u0103i, unu \u00eei m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 sandvi\u015ful, altul \u00eei bea cafeaua, iar al treilea \u00eei m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 pl\u0103cinta. \u015eoferul de tir nu zice nimic, pl\u0103te\u015fte \u015fi pleac\u0103. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Un motociclist r\u00e2de gros:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Hahaha, \u0103sta n-are nici un pic de s\u00e2nge de b\u0103rbat \u00een el.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

La care barmanul, uit\u00e2ndu-se pe geam:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

– Nici s\u00e2nge de \u015fofer nu pare s\u0103 aib\u0103, tocmai a dat cu spatele peste trei motociclete…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Sursa:whatsapp; google<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1. Un profesor distrat a \u00eent\u00e2rziat la seminarul pe care trebuia s\u0103-l \u0163in\u0103. D\u00e2ndu-\u015fi seama de \u00eent\u00e2rziere, el a s\u0103rit \u00eentr-un<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":84828,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[83],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-101910","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-rubrica-de-umor"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/03\/istockphoto-1179177852-612x612-1.jpg?fit=612%2C460&ssl=1","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p61naM-qvI","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101910","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=101910"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101910\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":101916,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101910\/revisions\/101916"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/84828"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=101910"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=101910"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=101910"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}