{"id":104002,"date":"2023-10-20T11:09:45","date_gmt":"2023-10-20T08:09:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=104002"},"modified":"2023-10-20T11:10:08","modified_gmt":"2023-10-20T08:10:08","slug":"104002","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=104002","title":{"rendered":"Haz de necaz"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Unul r\u0103stoarn\u0103 un camion cu lemne pe \u0219osea. Poli\u021bistul venit s\u0103 constate evenimentul \u00eei zice:
– B\u0103i, o s\u0103 te amendez \u0219i pe deasupra si o s\u0103 ai necazuri \u0219i cu \u0219eful t\u0103u, s\u0103 vezi ce-o s\u0103-\u021bi spun\u0103…..
– Stie deja \u0219i nu mi-a zis nimic!
– Nu \u021bi-a zis nimic?? Cum a\u0219a?
– E sub lemne…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trei candida\u021bi dau examenul de conducere la \u0219coala de poli\u021bie. Instructorul care \u00eei examineaza \u00eei intreab\u0103:
– Fiecare s\u0103-\u0219i imagineze c\u0103 este la munte \u0219i ruleaza pe un drum ingust cu 80 km\/h. In stanga e muntele, \u00een dreapta e pr\u0103pastia. Deodat\u0103 apar \u00een fa\u021ba o t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 \u0219i o bab\u0103. Ce c\u0103lca\u021bi?
– Baba, c\u0103 e p\u0103cat de pu\u0219toaic\u0103, raspunde primul.
– Fata, c\u0103 mai are \u0219anse de supravie\u021buire dup\u0103 accident, r\u0103spunde al doilea.
– Pe am\u00e2ndoua, c\u0103 orice viraj e periculos \u00een aceste condi\u021bii, zice si al treilea.
– Sunte\u021bi pica\u021bi toti, \u021bip\u0103 instructorul exasperat. Fr\u00e2na trebuie c\u0103lcat\u0103, dobitocilor!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***
So\u021bul gonea pe autostrada cu 150 km\/h \u00een timp ce so\u021bia cro\u0219eta lini\u0219tit\u0103 \u00een dreapta.
Un poli\u021bist \u00eel trage pe dreapta \u0219i ii spune:
– Domnule v-am oprit pentru dep\u0103\u0219ire de vitez\u0103.
– Imposibil domnule politist, am cruise control pe ma\u0219ina \u0219i nu pot trece de 80 km\/h. Ar fi cazul s\u0103 mai calibra\u021bi radarul. So\u021bia, din dreapta, remarc\u0103 in timp ce cro\u0219eta:
– Te rog nu spune prostii drag\u0103, masina este model vechi, cum naiba s\u0103 avem instalat cruise control ? Poli\u021bistul incepe s\u0103 scrie amenda \u00een timp ce b\u0103rbatul zice so\u021biei:
– De ce n-ai t\u0103cut drag\u0103 din gur\u0103 ?
– Domnule, trebuie s\u0103 v\u0103 mai dau o amend\u0103 pt.ca nu purta\u021bi centura de siguran\u021b\u0103.
– Dar am dat-o jos c\u00e2nd mi-a\u021bi cerut actele domnule. So\u021bia cro\u0219eteaz\u0103 de zor \u0219i se bag\u0103 \u00een vorb\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Sursa:auto-iasi, whatsapp<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Unul r\u0103stoarn\u0103 un camion cu lemne pe \u0219osea. Poli\u021bistul venit s\u0103 constate evenimentul \u00eei zice:– B\u0103i, o s\u0103 te amendez<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":98227,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[83],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-104002","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-rubrica-de-umor"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/05\/emoji.webp","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s61naM-104002","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104002","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=104002"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104002\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":104009,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/104002\/revisions\/104009"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/98227"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=104002"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=104002"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=104002"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}