{"id":27016,"date":"2017-09-21T12:54:00","date_gmt":"2017-09-21T09:54:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=27016"},"modified":"2017-09-21T09:00:15","modified_gmt":"2017-09-21T06:00:15","slug":"bancuri-de-la-tribunal-de-ce-un-barbat-inselat-isi-ucide-sotia-si-nu-amantul","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/?p=27016","title":{"rendered":"Bancuri de la tribunal. De ce un b\u0103rbat \u00een\u015felat \u00ee\u015fi ucide so\u0163ia \u015fi nu amantul"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Bancuri<\/p>\n

Pe internet circul\u0103 mai multe bancuri pe seama celor care ajung \u00een sala p\u0103\u015filor pierdu\u0163i. Iat\u0103 mai jos o selec\u0163ie a celor mai amuzante glume despre justi\u0163iabili, judec\u0103tori ori avoca\u0163i.
\n1. La tribunal, un el \u015fi o ea se ceart\u0103 pentru custodia fiicei lor.<\/p>\n

\u2013 Eu am adus-o pe lume cu durere, mie mi se cuvine custodia.<\/p>\n

Judec\u0103torul c\u0103tre so\u0163:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Argumentul dvs. care este?<\/p>\n

Avocatul zice calm:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Domnule judecator, dac\u0103 dvs b\u0103ga\u0163i o moned\u0103 \u00eentr-un automat de r\u0103coritoare \u015fi iese o sticl\u0103 de cola, a cui este sticla, a ma\u015finii sau a dumneavoastr\u0103?<\/p>\n

2. Judec\u0103torul:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Ioane, te g\u0103sesc vinovat de crim\u0103. \u0162i-ai ucis so\u0163ia c\u00e2nd ai prins-o \u00een pat cu in vecin. Am totu\u015fi o \u00eentrebare pentru tine. De ce pe ea \u015fi nu pe tic\u0103losul de vecin?<\/p>\n

\u2013 P\u0103i domnule judec\u0103tor, mai bine omor o femeie o singur\u0103 dat\u0103 dec\u00e2t s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2nal c\u00e2te un b\u0103rbat.<\/p>\n

3. \u2013 Domni\u015foar\u0103, \u00eel acuza\u0163i pe inculpat c\u0103 v-a violat pe bancheta din spate a ma\u015finii, spune\u0163i cum s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat\u2026<\/p>\n

\u2013 P\u0103i m-a a\u015fezat cu picioarele pe m\u00e2nerele alea care sunt deasupra u\u015filor \u015fi m-a violat.<\/p>\n

Din sal\u0103 se aude un hohot puternic de r\u00e2s.<\/p>\n

\u2013 P\u0103stra\u0163i lini\u015ftea! Ce-ai domnule, de ce r\u00e2zi a\u015fa, suntem \u00eentr-o sal\u0103 de tribunal!<\/p>\n

\u2013 V\u0103 rog s\u0103 m\u0103 scuza\u0163i, dar eu am ma\u015fin\u0103 de 15 ani \u015fi habar n-aveam pentru ce sunt m\u00e2nerele alea\u2026<\/p>\n

4. – Acuzat, recuno\u015fti acest cu\u0163it?<\/p>\n

– Da, domnule judec\u0103tor.<\/p>\n

– \u00censeamn\u0103 c\u0103 m\u0103rturise\u015fti crima.<\/p>\n

– Nu m\u0103rturisesc nimic, dar mi-l ar\u0103ta\u0163i pentru a patra oar\u0103. E normal s\u0103-l recunosc!<\/p>\n

5. O femeie vrea s\u0103 divor\u0163eze de so\u0163ul ei.<\/p>\n

La tribunal, judec\u0103torul o \u00eentreab\u0103:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Care este motivul divor\u0163ului?<\/p>\n

\u2013 Acum ceva timp i-am f\u0103cut so\u0163ului meu cadou un inel \u015fi ieri l-am v\u0103zut la m\u00e2na lui dreapt\u0103.<\/p>\n

Judec\u0103torul z\u00e2mbe\u015fte \u015fi spune:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Drag\u0103 doamn\u0103, acesta nu este un motiv de divor\u0163.<\/p>\n

Femeia sup\u0103rat\u0103:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Serios? M\u00e2na lui dreapt\u0103 este secretara de la birou!<\/p>\n

Sursa:adevarul.ro<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pe internet circul\u0103 mai multe bancuri pe seama celor care ajung \u00een sala p\u0103\u015filor pierdu\u0163i. Iat\u0103 mai jos o selec\u0163ie<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27016","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-amuzament"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p61naM-71K","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27016","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27016"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27016\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27017,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27016\/revisions\/27017"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27016"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27016"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/realitatearutiera.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27016"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}